What Matters: October 2003
There's More to Post-MIT Life than High Tech
By Meredith Warshaw '79
What matters to MIT alums? When I read the MIT News section of Technology Review, or other communications with alumni, I get the sense that MIT thinks the answer to that question is "engineering, science, entrepreneurship, and the latest cutting edge research." And, yes, most MIT grads continue to have an interest in those areas, even if our careers have traveled far afield from our MIT roots (a surprisingly large number of us have done just that). But for many of us, those are peripheral concerns and not what matters to us in our day-to-day lives.
I was struck by this last June, when I attended my undergrad living group's annual alumni barbecue. Most discussions I heard had little to do with work, technology, or research—instead, family was the central theme. Married or single, parents or childless, family concerns were paramount. Work was occasionally mentioned, but mostly as it affected family.
Dealing with our children's needs was definitely a major theme. As Brian Hughes '77 so eloquently discussed last month, a large proportion of MIT families have gifted/special needs kids. ADHD, Asperger Syndrome, and learning disabilities are all frequent among our kids, especially in families where both parents are MIT grads. Unfortunately, schools these days are much less user-friendly for "twice-exceptional" children than they used to be. Because of this, parenting our kids has become a full-time job for many of us. At every MIT gathering I attend, alums share suggestions for dealing with our kids' special needs, including specific suggestions, web resources, and moral support. It's no surprise that GT-Special, an email list for families with gifted/special needs children, was started by two MIT alums.
Perhaps because of our children's special needs, and the "one size fits all" mentality of today's schools, homeschooling has become a surprisingly frequent choice among MIT alums. This was reflected at my living group's barbecue. In attendance were parents who had chosen to homeschool for philosophical reasons, those (myself included) who are homeschooling because school was such a bad fit for their children, and those who were considering homeschooling and were eager to learn more about it from some of us in the fray.
If it's not children, it's parents. When one classmate mentioned that he was dealing with the declining health of his sole remaining parent, several others immediately jumped in with sympathy and helpful suggestions. It was clear that this was a common situation among MIT grads, and one that is not addressed by an engineering education.
While many of the MIT grads I know are working full-time in technology-related fields, a large number are not. Some are housewives (and even a few househusbands), dealing with the complex needs of their families. Some, both men and women, have chosen to work part-time in order to balance the needs of work and family. Many are working in fields that have little to do with science, engineering, or high tech entrepreneurship. I have classmates who are ministers, actors, writers, or work in other fields far from the Infinite Corridor.
Why am I writing this column? Because I would like the Alumni Association to recognize that there is more to post-MIT life than high-tech. When I read MIT News, I want to see profiles of alumni doing interesting things that have nothing to do with computers or DNA. I'd like to see articles about my classmate the minister, or interesting community service projects alumni are involved in, or even advice on how to help our children survive elementary schools that cannot cope with quirky brilliant kids. Several years ago, Bryn Mawr College alumnae complained that their magazine ignored the non-work side of their lives. This resulted in Bryn Mawr Alumnae Bulletin publishing articles by alumnae on topics such as motherhood. It would be wonderful to see MIT News focus on parenthood, alums in non-traditional fields of work, and how life beyond MIT has differed from our expectations when we first left 77 Mass. Ave. to venture into the world. Because these are the things that really matter to MIT Alums.
About the Author
Meredith Warshaw '79 works as a Special Needs Educational Advisor, helping families of gifted/special needs children to better understand their children's needs. She also writes articles and speaks at conferences on the special needs of this group of children, and is contributing editor for 2e: Twice-Exceptional Newsletter. Meredith is creator of the Uniquely Gifted Web site, a resource for families with gifted/special needs children, and is cofounder of the GT-Special e-mail list for families with gifted/special needs children. After school and her twice-exceptional son proved a bad fit, they embarked on the adventure of homeschooling, which lead to the creation of the GT-Spec-Home e-mail list for families homeschooling twice-exception children. Meredith works part-time from home, in an attempt to find balance between family, work, and self. You can reach her at mwarshaw@alum.mit.edu.
What Matters is a guest opinion column written by a different MIT alumnus or alumna. The views expressed are entirely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Alumni Association or MIT. Interested in writing a column? Email whatmatters@mit.edu.
