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The Benefits of Home Schooling

Wyatt Webb '92

David Webb studying at home

Like most incoming MIT students, I was on the tail end of a fairly successful educational career. I was Valedictorian of my class of about 300. My SAT and ACT scores were the best in my school. I could do the math but knew it would be different at MIT. The bar was about to be raised higher than I could imagine. Now, it would come down to hard work and desire. I thought that we were all on a relatively level playing field but during that first year, I came to an unexpected realization. Other students had done better in high school, not just because of more talent or harder work, but because of greater opportunity. Several had taken advantage of programs and courses that were never available to me. While I eventually found my equilibrium and graduated with my class, that realization stuck with me.

About five years later, my wife and I were considering the best method of education for our son, David. While he was a bright child, he was going through some occupational therapy to deal with minor cognitive disconnects related to his premature birth. He could learn without much problem as long as new concepts were presented in particular ways. He also had more difficulty if he had to sit in one place for any length of time. He was not hyperactive. He was simply too distracted to learn if he had to concentrate on confining himself to a chair.

Knowing these quirks, we discussed many options about how he could best be served educationally. We were worried that he would not be able to give his full attention in a traditional classroom. We were also increasingly concerned about the environment and content offered by the public school system. We heard many anecdotes about drugs, violence, and excessive political correctness. We considered private school, but had to scratch that idea because of the prohibitive cost.

At the same time, we were experiencing that normal concern parents have about sending our child away for such a large part of the day. We worried about his mental and physical well being in a large group of lightly monitored children. For all of the stress and hassle of caring for a young child, we still did not look forward to sending him off to school for several hours every day. With the help of a meeting at our local library, we came to a stunningly obvious conclusion. Why send him anywhere? Why couldn't we just teach him ourselves? We had taught him everything he knew up until that point. Why not just continue? Thus began our venture into the world of home schooling.

As the years have passed, our experience has only reinforced our belief that home schooling is the best possible choice for our son. We love the fact that we have been able to control the curriculum he is being taught. Along with the obvious desire to impart our values, it also allows us to do deeper investigation into several subjects. While certain areas of math have come easy, some have been tougher to master. We have the ability to speed through the easier sections to avoid boredom and slow down on the harder parts to ensure comprehension.

Furthermore, subjects like history and health suffer greatly in public schools. Teachers have either been forced to limit their material or include dubious content due to political correctness and pressure from activists. Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with what your local school is teaching, there is nothing more freeing than simply deciding what your child needs to learn. If you want to teach your child why gay marriage should be legal or spend a few weeks explaining how deforestation is threatening the planet, you can do that. You do not have to lobby the principal or fight the school board to do so. If you want to teach your child about the Christian backgrounds of the founding fathers or study evidence that contradicts the theory of evolution, you can do that, too. We simply do not have to deal with the concern that what our child is being taught may contradict our personal values.

We also have discovered the significant benefits of controlling David's social interactions. If there is a child or group of children that we feel are a bad influence on him, we simply avoid them. That certainly is not a service public school can provide. He goes through his day interacting with people of all ages and has a more varied experience than most public school students. Realistically, where else in the real world do people have to function in a single room with a group of twenty or thirty people of the same age? The fact is that he learns more doing daily errands with his mother or visiting his grandparents than most public school children do when they are between classes or on recess. We have noticed that he does not have the common discomfort most children have with the elderly. David is perfectly comfortable having all kinds of conversation with adults. At 12 years old, he steers dinner conversation to be about politics as much as about comic books or video games. Those conversations rarely need to be lowered to his level and he is happy to offer his opinion on just about anything.

Ask any home schooling parent about the socialization of their child and you will probably get a smirk and a prepared answer. This is easily the most frequently asked question when anyone finds out you are home schooling. What is quite humorous is that everyone that asks it seems convinced that you have never considered the issue. Believe me, we have thought about it and we have it covered. One dictionary definition of socialization is "the adoption of the behavior patterns of the surrounding culture." Now, when you are asking children to "adopt the behavior patterns" of their surroundings, wouldn't it make sense to surround them with good examples? Think about it; we are asking our children to learn how to behave in society by isolating them from real society with twenty or thirty other children who are learning how to behave, too. Sheer numbers dictate that the impressionable child will learn more from the other children than from the one or two teachers they observe. Additionally, the effect of peer pressure is that a child is more likely to want to be accepted by his peers rather than please his teachers. This seems to be a fundamentally flawed way to teach children to interact in society. This line of thinking has proven true in our situation. David is not driven by peer pressure. When egged on to do something wrong by the neighbor kids, he just walks away. David has no desire for the latest fashion or newest toy. He wants what he likes, not what the kids around him tell him to like. David observes his parents, my co-workers, and people at church as examples of how to interact with society. Wait a minute! Learning how to act in society by watching adults interact with real society? What a concept. Children in public schools need to be taught these skills while fighting the influence of peers and mob mentality. We do not. As far as we are concerned, our son is more prepared for society than any public school child his age. Socialization is not a problem at all.

As you read this you may bristle at how much we revel in controlling most of David's life. Controlling anyone's life is a bad thing...if that person is a capable adult. When that person is not capable though, it is a generous thing to care for someone and control the parts that they cannot. We do it with infants, we do it with the mentally disabled, and we do it with the elderly. Heck, we even tell our children how much TV to watch, when to use the phone and what time to be home. We do these things because they do not yet understand how to control those parts of their life without harming themselves in some way. It seems clear that, until they reach adulthood, children are not capable adults. They need help controlling the parts of their lives that they are not yet prepared to deal with on their own. The difference is that, as a society, we have been conditioned to entrust our children's education and socialization to an institution. Why not keep the reins and do it yourself?

While state laws differ around the country, we feel that it is important to have David tested each year. We use that assessment to determine where to focus the following year. Like most home schoolers, his scores have been well above his grade level. Being able to teach him in a manner that fits him best and on a schedule that allows him to focus on his subjects has been a roaring success. We have been able to take tangents, spend more time on tough spots and even include subjects not offered in public schools. We end up with a closer family and a well-educated and pleasant child. Not a bad deal at all.

While we are very passionate about our decision, we are not naive. Clearly, this decision will not work for every child in the country. However, we are constantly encouraging parents to think about it. Take responsibility for your child's education. If you choose public school, get involved. If you choose private school, get involved. If you choose to home school, that is about as involved as you can get! Do not dismiss the idea outright, though. Really stop and think about the tradeoffs and the long-term value of being more involved in your child's life and education. It has been extremely rewarding for all three of us.

It is not a walk in the park, though. In our early years of home schooling we learned about two common pitfalls. The first was an internal mistake on our part. We made the common error of thinking that home schooling was about replicating school at home. That is a recipe for disaster as it is impossible (and expensive) to try to recreate a classroom environment in your home. Teaching large groups of children at the same time tends to produce similar results since there is little time for specialization. Home schooling is about taking advantage of your flexibility. That means choosing the best time of day to teach, breaking up the instructional sessions, and using everyday chores to help out. Having your child help bake cookies is a great way to work with fractions, learn a little science and even discuss nutrition. Home schooling is not about putting a chalkboard on the wall and lecturing to your child all day just so you can give him the one-size-fits-all education. It is about using real life to teach, being able to adjust the curriculum on the fly and allowing your child to find the joy of learning by removing the obstacles.

The other pitfall is an external one. It stems from the fact that the public school system is not generally in favor of home schooling. There is a common belief that only those with teaching certificates should be allowed to educate children. We have had that argument with several teachers. Since the money given to the school is determined by enrollment, they tend to be unhappy with any system that allows children to go elsewhere. The result is trying to find ways to get that money back. Many schools have begun to offer home school support programs. They will offer you access to a teacher to help you develop a curriculum, they will give you money to buy school supplies, and they may even offer a class or two just for the home schooled kids. The problem is that, in almost every case, participating in these programs removes the legal status of the homeschooler and reverts them to the oversight of the school. This means the school can control the curriculum, they can determine how your child is assessed and it means they can count your child as an enrolled student. Being able to include them with their enrollment numbers means they get more money, with the bonus of not having to support a full time student. It is a sweet deal for the school and a bad deal for the parents. Our pet peeve with these programs is that they are often deceptive about the change of your legal status. Many parents have been fooled into thinking they are still home schooling and feel betrayed when the school begins to tell them that they have to use a certain curriculum or they need to be tested along with the rest of the full-time students. We have not been trapped in that way, but it rubs us the wrong way to think that we have to watch out for being tricked by our local school. In the end, we just do it all ourselves or use independent third parties.

We have hit our stride now, though. School is hard work, but we love doing it and are rewarded every day by the results. We intend to continue all the way through high school, by which time he will probably be teaching himself more than anything. Colleges are happily accepting home schooled students all over the country, so we have no worries about David being left out of higher education. If you have ever thought about alternatives to public school, we highly recommend home schooling. Maybe you can provide just the right opportunities for your child.

About the Author The Webb Family, from left: David, Stefanie, and Wyatt Wyatt Webb '92 VI-3, is a senior programmer for Inspiration Software in Portland, Oregon. He has been working in the educational software field for almost 10 years and has shipped 15 titles in that time. Wyatt and Stefanie have been married for 15 years and live with their son David in Beaverton, Oregon. You can learn more about their family and their decision to home school at http://www.clanwebb.com/ Published July 21, 2004.

Photos courtesy of the Webb Family

What Matters is a guest opinion column written by a different MIT alumnus or alumna each month. The views expressed in What Matters are entirely those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Association or of MIT. For previous columns, please see the archives. Would you like to contribute a What Matters column?